October 2, 2008 6:01 PM.

Trust

"Trust is important in a relationship and is the engine for keeping the relationship running."

I used to believe in it. Trust is really fundamental in order to maintain a successful relationship.

However, I beg to differ now.

Would it be better if there is no trust in a relationship?

With the absence of trust, it acts as a shield. When you are lied to, the hurt is minimal as the commitment was absent in the first place. It is when you have been deceived by this person whom you have trusted with all your heart, the hurt caused is the most immense. 

However, when there is no trust, you will be suspicious and having doubts about the partner and the relationship all the time. "Is he lying to me again?" "Is he having an affair?" “Should I continue this relationship?” You even become suspicious of his family and friends as they were accomplices before. There is no one else you can trust.

Why must someone lie? It could be a white lie or the original intention may be to cover up for a very small mistake or ill intention. But a lie will just lead on to another lie. The snowballing will lead to this huge lie which can be unforgivable. You may think that you have a foolproof plan but somehow, the truth will be revealed eventually. So why lie? Even if you really managed to pull through, don’t you feel guilty? Your conscience will be biting on you on the time. Is it worth it? 

Does it hurt to tell the truth? Perhaps you may be ticked off for that one mistake. But when you lie and got found out, that is another additional mistake and the latter has even more serious consequences. You rather commit two mistakes then come clean in the first place? You rather break the trust that someone has for you then to confess to a harmless act? 

Is it really so hard to tell the truth? 

I was cheated and I told myself to trust again. And I did. Yet now, I am deceived again. Can I ever trust someone again? 

Can trust really be earned back? Or will a scar always remain in your heart? 

I love you, thus I forgive you. But what if I learn to trust you again and I am deceived again? Who should I blame then? You, who cheats on me? Or simply myself for allowing you to cheat me again?

I am torn.

What should I do?

THE ME .

a perfectionist